Is this for real?

So I’m lying in bed. Can’t sleep.

A couple hours earlier, I was whispering in my wife’s ear that I loved her. Affirming her as my beloved. Thanking her for completing me. Then  once again, I said, I love you.

Inside my head, this voice says,


What do you mean, why? I responded back silently inside my head.

Why do you love your wife?
What is the reason that you should love your wife?

At first, my mind started going through the list she’s Gods gift, she’s my life companion, she’s faithful, she’s honest, because she loves me

The Voice in my head, Whom I now recognize, interrupts my thought process,

No, no, no, no, you’ve got it all WRONG… why do you love your wife?

I thought a bit harder and answered, Because Your Word says, Husbands, love your wives as Christ loves the church?

You’re getting closer… So, why does Christ Jesus love the church?

Because you gave the church to her, as His bride, so I love my wife because You gave her to me.
I was thinking this discussion was related to what my pastor said at a wedding of a friend today while simultaneously, I’m also thinking to myself, Is this for real?

Yes, I’ve given the church to My Son as His bride, but why does He love the church so much?

And it hits me.

Totally related to what my pastor posted this afternoon on Facebook.

“My prayer for each of you is that God would reveal His amazing grace to you. And that God would tweak the lens of your heart and change your focus from you loving God; towards God’s love for you. -Pastor Sam”

It all clicked; hitting me in a rush.

Christ loves the church primarily not because you gave her to Him, but because YOU LOVED HER FIRST!


The response exploded in my head.

and I love my wife for exactly the same reason because You love her and LOVED HER FIRST.

Now you’ve got it.

Immediately, the thoughts started pouring into my head how husbands treat their wives as if THEY were the first ones to love them, not the Father and woe to those who mistreat those the Father holds dear.

And then it was over.

I told my wife about it the whole exchange lasting maybe thirty seconds in between the sweet nothings I was saying to my wife.

This gives me a whole different perspective on husbands loving wives, even interactions between friends. I figured I would just go to sleep, but closing my eyes I knew I wouldn’t sleep until I wrote this down.

I believe this is in line with what is being taught to me on love and emphasizes the value of the fact that God loves us, that He loved us first, and nothing matters until we understand how powerful it is to be loved by Him alone.


The lens is being refocused as I sit here.


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