The Birthday Party


Birthday Party
Star Wars
Attendees, Guests, Party Animals, Perps:
8 Year-old boys

630pm:     Party begins – Trusting parents leave their angels in the care of parents of birthday angel

7pm: All participants wet and muddy from swimming and battling it out between the Clones, Rebel Alliance, and the dastardly Sith (with the cool red light sabers)

8pm:     Cake – “Mrs. M, I just wanted you to know that last year’s cake was MUCH better…”

actually, it was – it even had a two-foot tall pirate ship on it with gummy sharks in the roiling water…
obviously an attempt to compliment the cake mistress gone awry…

855pm     Firepit has burned down to a perfect S’mores roasting environment

9pm     20+ s’mores made – tummies happy

910pm     Roasting rods taken away from those ingeniously discovering how to make marshmallow “asphalt” on my deck surface

well, I did need to pressure wash it anyway…

915pm – various other battle scenarios ensue – some in the pool, some in the fort – correction… “Rebel Base” –  and one major battle pivoting around the strategic significance of the tire swing – oops, correction…”Death Star Shield Generator”…

11pm     Commence theatrical viewing of Episode I

1130pm     Parental mistake #1

Ok, boys.  As long as you behave responsibly, you can stay up as late as you want.
AS LATE AS WE WANT???? –   (think 4 voices in unison)

1145pm     Parent leaves picturesque and tranquil scene in son’s bedroom where “tired” boys are curled up in blankets and sleeping bags watching the end of the movie. Won’t be long now…

Midnight.  Parents.  Dead to world.
130am      (LOUD NOISE) something that sounds like crying… Dad gets up.

We started a pillow fight and then ‘ *Billy’ got a bloody nose!
Well, who hit him?
shrugs all around.  No squealers here………
*name changed to protect…. – for the record, I never saw any blood.

Dad attempts to calm the horde.

Why don’t you guys go to sleep now?
We’re not tired!
We’re bored!
I’m hungry!
Fine, eat something and then go to sleep…
Parent heads back to his cave as a feeding frenzy starts centered around the refrigerator.

230am     Sliding door opens. Whispers of “don’t forget your light saber” as they tromp out into the back yard for one more battle.
Dog escapes the yard – visits friends?

Mommmmmmmmmmmmmm! The toilet keeps flushing!!!!!
Mom gets up.
Discovers water 1/4 inch deep in bathroom and rising.
Shuts off water at wall.
Uses every towel in the cabinet to sop up water.

Hollers for Dad.
Dad performs plunger duties on toilet.
NOT your ordinary clog.
The Force must be Strong in the individual responsible for this one…
Violent, last-ditch “Jedi” plunging technique loosens plug and toilet flushes properly.

“As Late As You Want” clause revoked
….But we’re hungry!
Everyone eats a strawberry bagel.

420am     1st load of sopping wet towels hits the washer.

430am     All boys sitting on couch, watching and directing birthday boy how to play LEGO Star Wars on his DS.

We’re bored!
Just relax and settle down.
They agree to be quiet – as long as they don’t have to go to sleep.

444am     Parents note that it is as quiet as it has ever been for the past 10 hours.

445am . . . . .

Party Animals
PS… baby sister slept through ALL of this.

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